February 12, 2010:
Simon Doonan, speculating about the contents of the New York Times expose about Governor Paterson: “When people don't say what it is, one can't help but think it involves a tranny. It's better to come out and tell everyone. If you have a scandal, put it out there. If you don't, people are just going to think it involves a tranny. I should say 'transgender'? A trans-person. When people are being super evasive about it, one can't help thinking it involves a trans-person. Maybe I'm wrong. Just speculating."
February 22, 2010:
NY Magazine, reacting to David Paterson’s comments that he is the “Teflon Governor”: “The Teflon Governor? That's rich. In some ways, Paterson is the opposite of a Teflon politician -- even things that aren't his fault, like the State Senate's dysfunction and New York's financial crisis, seem to stick to him.”
March 16, 2010:
There was a special election in
1. One of the key candidates vying to fill Hiram Monserrate’s seat is … Hiram Monserrate! How completely fucked is my state that this is even possible? Dear Legislature: If you ever get your act enough together to pass anything even remotely worthwhile, please add “Hiram’s Law” to your agenda, i.e., “If you are expelled from the Senate, you are legally barred from running to replace yourself.”
2. The other key candidate vying to fill Hiram Montserrate’s seat is apparently handing out pamphlets that say, “Jose Peralta: Not a wife beater.” When that’s (literally) the only reason you’re voting for someone, you have a problem.
March 17, 2010:
Ohferchrissakes!!! Hiram Monserrate lost the special election yesterday. Though he did take home 27 percent of the vote. Who the hell are these people who voted for him?? There's the whole attacking-his-girlfriend-with-a-broken-glass situation, but if that's not enough reason to deem this asshole unfit for office, let's not forget that he was also involved in that attempted legislative power swap that crippled Albany for several weeks last summer. Remember that circus? Let's review:
Last June, no doubt in advance of their own political careers and agendas, Democrats Hiram Monserrate and Pedro Espada briefly aligned with Senate Republicans, giving the Republicans a two vote majority in the Senate (32-30). Confusion ensued. Like, can you do that? Nobody knew. This was hardly the brilliant coup everyone should have known it wouldn't be, so exactly one week later, Hiram Monserrate decides to cut his losses and declares, "My bad. I'm a Democrat again," and attempts to present himself as Super Bipartisan Man.
With the sides now deadlocked (31-31), the legislature deteriorates into a comedy of errors. There's a lot of walking out and locking out. Like, the Democrats literally refuse to turn over the keys to the Senate chambers. (Apparently having the majority means you get to keep the keys? I don't know.) Somehow the Republicans get a set. The parties hold dueling sessions, but neither side can get anything done because you need a majority (32 senators) present to pass a law. Comedy reaches its apex when a Republican senator enters the chamber during a Democrat-run session, I believe, to retrieve his coat, and the Democrats declare a quorum. In what must have been hilarious to watch -- Democrats furiously attempting to pass laws, Republican senator guy trying to get the hell out of the room -- the Democrats manage to pass a couple bills on stuff like motel taxes and 911 service fees.
Ultimately, Governor Paterson decides to stop the madness by appointing Democrat Richard Ravich Lieutenant Governor. (The position had been vacant since David Paterson became governor after Eliot Spitzer got caught with the prostitute.). With power now back in the Democrats' hands, Pedro Espada says, "Ya know what? Nevermind. I'll be a Democrat again. Do-over!" and it gets a little weird because I feel like everybody's just kind of decided to pretend that whole episode never happened. Four weeks of total legislative uselessness. We should be outraged, but it appears instead that we've decided collectively that we won't talk about *that* anymore.
So yes. Hiram Monserrate. Convicted of misdemeanor assault of his girlfriend. Central participant in failed political coup. Expelled from the Senate by his peers. You'd think the guy would say, "Perhaps it's time for me to disappear from the public eye for awhile. Lay low. Work on my image." But if you thought that, you'd be wrong. Because guess what is rumored to be the man's next move: Yes folks, allegedly he will run to fill the representative seat vacated by the guy who just beat him in yesterday's special election; the special election, remember, to fill the Senate seat which opened when he was expelled from the Senate. Seriously. Has this man no pride? Go away!
